do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care


	do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care it's all an illusion there's too much confusion down down down with your heart find find find the secret turn turn turn your head around baby we can do it we can do it alright do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care do you believe i can make you feel better too much confusion come on over here can we get together i really i really want to be with you come and check it out with me i hope you i hope you feel the same way too...

Monday, October 10, 2005 ::: she's 18. such fine looking. probably she looks even younger. completed her education. worked as a waitress for a while. she experienced some pain with her leg - she thought she worked too hard. preliminary x rays showed she was fine. she kept on working, switched jobs, but the problem didn't go away. that was only a few months ago. few months later, the x ray showed something completely different she has difficulty in walking. the doctor broke the news - she's diagnosed with malignant bone tumor. she asked 'am i having cancer?' the doctor said 'yes.' in order to treat the tumor some injections have to be made. she asked 'am i going to have chemotherapy?' once again the doctor told her the truth. she knows too well. yet she was so calm. there was a sense of hope in her voice. she phoned her mom, talked in such an unchalant way - 'when will you be here? the doctor wants to see you.' I wonder what it was like on the other end of the line. nobody ever suspected it. she's so young. maybe she had to return it earlier maybe she'll live. but she's going to suffer a lot - and i can't even imagine. maybe she knows better than anyone else and if she does, she surely is a very brave girl. very disheartening. :( * and so i woke up feeling so bad and suddenly i realized why. i can't believe how this can last so long i don't even recall when it happened but all i know is i've never ever held such angst against anyone before and not ever since. but if I'm not allowed to think evil - maybe all I want is to disappear. why am I holding on to this, I ask myself. maybe it doesn't mean anything. or maybe some part of it means everything. but a revisit to a healing scar isn't doing me any good - and guess what the worst part is perhaps, i don't think you did anything wrong. or maybe i'm just being too understanding maybe i should just defend myself a little and have my untouchable ego see some light for a while but in the end i really want to give up. to erase everything. because the mere thought of it is making me sick and i'm really sick to my bottom. i remain silent. and by remaining that way I say FUCK OFF. and I believe i have every right to express my anguish in my little space. * nuff of that i'm not sad it's just that if I don't rant here, where else should I go? got Sugababe's Taller in More Ways. some tracks really stand out - Ugly, Ace Reject, Red Dress and the lead single. The others are ok. 1 or 2 skippable. But the good ones are really ace. And they're still make the best sounds in pop. They've never disappointed, so far. And if you're in need of a good laugh, listen to this hilarious crap. Bryan Adams feat PAMELA ANDERSON (YES IT'S HER) - When You're Gone. http://www.allaccess.com/mail/eblasts/bryanAdams/index.htm and yes, that's the one Bryan did with Mel C. Mel's vocal got replaced by PAM's. hear her squeal. i promise she really succeeded in giving the song a 'refreshing' sound. AWFUL. And Bryan, isn't that commercial suicide? Their 4th album yet they're still strong and remaining as the best in (Brit) pop. ::: posted by Wings at 10/10/2005 09:05:00 AM

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it's all an illusion there's too much confusion down down down with your heart find find find the secret turn turn turn your head around baby we can do it we can do it alright do you believe in love at first sight it's an illusion i don't care do you believe i can make you feel better too much confusion come on over here can we get together i really i really want to be with you come and check it out with me i hope you i hope you feel the same way too...

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